Vision and What if..?

“Aahh! They are burning a lot. I wish to just dip them in cold water until they calm down.”, he said to her as they sat in that wedding hall.
“Oh! Do they? Where did your ‘NUSTI AAG’ (only fire) paradox go now, huh? You wanted it Mr. Pyro!”, she replied seeming calm.
“Arey yaar! What kind of best friend you are? Here it feels like all these veins would just burst out. It feels like my EYES are some kind of volcano openings. Help me yaar! I wish I hadn’t had them.”, he was in pain.

“Shutup, Mr. Jwala Kutta, you don’t say such things because the one who doesn’t have them knows their true worth.”, she said.
“Just shut your Maheshwari speeches, and tell me what to do. I seriously wish I hadn’t had them. What the fuck do they want from me? Why are they burning?”, he was almost about to cry.
“Calm yourself re! Close your eyes and relax for sometime, they’ll be fine. HASHTAG NUSTA OVERACTING.” she smirked mocking him.
He did exactly as she suggested, “By the way, how would life actually be without eyes?”
“A lot better, at least right now, for you.” she laughed it off.
“Arey Retard! I’m asking seriously, like, what if we go blind?” he asked.

“Come on re. Who do you think you are? DAREDEVIL? RANI MUKHERJI MALE VERSION FROM BLACK? NOOO! Practically we need our eyes. In fact they are one of the most important part.” she said seeming all philosophical.
“Yeah! I’m neither one of them..”, he said dejected, “but I wish I was. Like, a blind man builds his own imagery. I seriously want to be blind. Just imagine, even you would become beautiful for me then” he laughed and continued, “I won’t know how one looks, how they dress, do they slouch or are they upright, their actions won’t affect me. NOTHING. Just HUMANS.”
“And what about the daily problems you will face? Do you think it’s easy to live without eyes?” she asked.
“Of course not. But it ain’t impossible na. Moreover, at least I won’t be able to see this sick world. The mean people. The attention grabbers. The backstabbers. The unnecessary HEROes. And all the social likewise.”, he said with an anger in his tone.
“Ohh wow! And don’t you hear them? Giving up your ears as well?”, she wanted to win.
“Yeah! I will hear them. But seeing them literally hurts my eyes. This pain right now might also be because of some of those retards!”, he exclaimed.
“Okay, understood. And what about your inner TRAVELLER, the most important thing to you?”, she skeptically asked.
“Jaani! Travel is for the soul, not for the eyes! I know I won’t be seeing the actual beauty, the actual world out there but I would be feeling it, painting it, filling my painting with my imagination. Remember child! Until the aroma of the air would fill my nostril and the chirping of birds would sooth my ears, eyes could be sacrificed and yet travelling could be done.”, he replied mocking a baba.
” Muh se toh tu bhikari lagta hai, fir thoughts ki itni ameeri kahase?(Your looks are like a beggar, then how come you have such rich thoughts) “, she asked as always trying to overpower him.
” Jaani! HUM HUM HAI, BAAKI SAB CHEENI KUM HAI!”, he enacted.
“Huh, Your eyes are fine now it seems?” she said, irritated with his overacting.
“Oh, Yeaass! Oh seriously they have! Oh look at that guy. No dressing sense, unnecessary BHAIwala walk. Oh and look at that overenthusiastic uncle, and that goggle-obsessed one, like why?….”

And they continued their jokes LOOKING at people….

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MINDRAGE

There are times when your mind battles internally,
What to do then?

When the battle has no reason and no warriors,
When the battle has no sides and no leaders,
Just something eating you up internally,
What to do then?

When you have everyone by your side,
Still you feel your heart having that void,
What to do then?

When you wish to shut the world just for some time,
But the thought of loneliness starts sneaking like a sourest lime,
What to do then?

When you are not afraid of the consequences,
And develop a NO FUCKS TO GIVE attitude for all your experiences,
What to do then?

When you feel there’s no thrill left in your routine,
And life has become a bloody monotonously working machine,
What to do then?

When all that covers you now are the papers called assignments and experiments,
Something which got replaced by those papers called marble and tints,
What to do then?

When all you do now is keep on writing them without any fucking idea what you are upto,
Just for a mere signature, a grade, or a 10 on 10,which weren’t so important when the child inside us grew,
What to do then?

When these college submission time give heart breaks of the amplitude stronger than those in love,
When the professors straight away correct and reject your work, and again entrap a freeflying dove,
What to do then?

When this internal battle starts to rage,
‘Coz of not knowing what the fuck is this invisible cage,
Why are our futures being decided by some white and black page,
Just give us our fucking stage!!

Returning to the battle of this age,
Where your soul wanders like an aghori sage,
And this tiring lifestyle makes you high,
Without the need of ganja, weed or amphetamine,
What to do then?

When all you do is wake, college, mobile, eat, sleep,
Whilst missing the rise, enjoy, books, have, rest,
The alarms that go beep beep
And a bird without a cozy nest!!!

Let me roam about in this wild wild world,
Away from those dumbwits, professors and freaking nerds,
Until the raging fire inside me settles from within,
Until i don’t ask again, WHAT TO DO THEN?

Where is SHE?

I was sitting on the porch in the garden area of our house. The mildly flowing breeze was playing with my hairs and cheeks touching them as softly as a feather coming down dancing in the air. Nothing was rushing. Everything around was so soothingly calm. It was as if life had turned into the water which had forgotten that it could have ripples. I rested my head back on the resting chair and immersed myself in this sweetness around me. And I dissolved… Where is she?

The search ensued. I began to wander in the woods finding a girl. I didn’t find her but the woods gave me a clue. Whilst I was moving around in the woods searching for the girl, one of the voices whispered, ” YOUR GIRL ISN’T TOO HARD TO FIND, FOR SHE HAS THE CURLS THAT YOU WOULD FALL FOR EVERYTIME YOU THINK OF HER IN YOUR MIND.” Bewildered by this voice yet happy to know about the girl that I was searching had curly hairs. A fainter image of a curly haired girl was through in my mind. But what about her, Where is she?

I came out of the woods with that curly haired girl and was at the base of a mountain. The lush green trees on the oriental perimeter of the mountain mesmerised my eyes. I felt a sense of gratitude towards mother Earth for letting me see this viridescent beauty through my naked eyes. Apart from this majestic creations, I saw someone standing at the summit of this mountain. Was it her? Was she waiting for me? My answers lied at the peak and so the trail to conquer this girl began. The wind was strong and it felt like the windgods were trying to tell me to go away, pushing me down, testing me, protecting my girl. But my determination was hard to deter and I conquered the summit. To my sadness, there was nobody except the bright yellow light which shimmered its glory upon me and there came another voice, “TIRED?” to which I strongly replied, “NOOO!WHO ARE YOU?” “DON’T THINK ABOUT ME! YOUR GIRL ISN’T HARD TO FIND, FOR SHE HAS THE SMILE THAT WOULD EVEN MAKE THE BEAUTY OF NATURE JEALOUS COMBINED” So this was my second clue and everytime I forgot about the voice which was giving these clues to me. It was this girl which I was more curios to know about. Where is she?

I started descending the mountain with the curly hairs and the sweetest smile and reached the bottom on the other side. I again saw someone but this time there was a majestic calm rippleless flow of water flowing in front of me. The water was as clear as a polished glass and I could even see the colourfull stones beneath it. The tiny tweeny fishes that played with each other reminded me of my childhood where I would play without an inch of care about what is life, which was happening now. Thankfully I knew how to swim and seeing the view, the inner thalassophile woke up and jumped into the water creating ripples yet not disturbing the playing fishes.The water gods started testing me this time, testing my endurance, forcing the current against my body but I was determined. I swam to the other side but I lost her again, not forever, but she was gone. “SHE HAD SAID THAT YOU WOULD WIN HER AND IT SEEMS SO, FOR SHE WILL UNDERSTAND YOU AND HENCE YOU WILL NEVER LET HER GO” spoke the voice again. This clue made me feel proud of the girl that I was in quest for. All you need in life is someone who understands the miniscules of your life without you needing to speak them out everytime. Every clue by this voice engrossed me deeper into her. Where is she?

As I started walking from this stream, I saw her again, this time amidst a conflagaration with her beauty glowing as the sparks went out. I had a circle of raging fire in the middle of which SHE was standing unaffected. I turned back to find a means to enter but to my agony the water flow behind me had vanished and the mountains and woods were gone too. It was just ME, HER and the FIRE. As I started walking towards this conflagration, it’s intensity grew. The yellow orange flames kissing my dusky skin yet not burning it. I was awestruck as such fire had not even harmed me for a bit. Was it the girl? Was it my affinity? A lot of questions started dancing and until then…. She was gone… Yet again… “DON’T BE DISSAPOINTED BOY! FOR YOUR GIRL HAS THE RAGING LOYALTY HARD ENOUGH FOR ANYONE TO DESTROY” said the voice again. I felt like a helpless child whose belonging was taken away. I felt like a bird in an open cage. I wanted her, I knew she was the girl of my dreams but why was she running away from me. She had curly hairs, the cutest smile, understanding nature and loyalty. What more did she wanted me to know about her? Where is she?

As I gathered her bits and pieces and started on my quest, I saw her again. This time she was floating, no not in waters, she was floating mid air. As spooky this may sound, but her posture mid air still mesmerized me. But how do I reach there? “JUMP!” the voice spoke. “ARE YOU FUCKING OUT OF YOUR MIND?” I shouted. “THIS GIRL SAYS THAT YOU TRUST PEOPLE EASILY” it said. “SO? WHO IS HERE TO SAVE ME?” I questioned. But the voice didn’t answer. I could see her and I wanted to know who she was. The curiosity was at its peak but how do I reach her? I closed my eyes and did what I used to do with people. I jumped trusting just the voice this time. The air was so strong that I could feel me cheeks blowing out and away from my teeth as I slowly opened my eyes frantically searching for her everywhere. But yet again she was gone. “I KNOW YOU ARE FRUSTRATED! BUT DO IT FOR YOUR GIRL FOR SHE HAS A GOLDEN HEART AS BIG AND WIDE AS THE SKY FOR THE INTIMIDATED” whispered the voice again. I really was frustrated for not being able to see her time and again. For not being able to touch her, feel her. But yet I was happy for the girl I was searching for had all the qualities that I exactly wanted. But WHERE IS SHE?

As I blinked searching for this answer in mid air, she was again in front of me. It was as if I was on Earth and she in Space. She floated there amidst the stars and meteors except the fact that they got their light from some source and here she was glimmering as the brightest beautiful thing that I had seen. This time I jumped on my own before the voice asked me to. I was floating in an aura of celestial beauty with my beauty just few human steps away from me. This time she wasn’t running away. Maybe this was my time to meet her. Maybe this was the end of the wait. Suddenly that glimmering beauty started rushing towards me. I was on top of the world or sky or space whatever you call it. Seeing her coming towards me was what felt like that helpless child was getting his belonging for which he was longing, back. But before I could understand anything, I felt a large shadow approaching me from behind and to my disbelief it was a large meteor which was about to hit me. I thought to myself, was this how it was going to end? Couldn’t I have a moment with the love of my life? A surge of thought began wobbling in my mind as I closed my eyes tightly awaiting the meteor crashing upon me. But…. It didn’t… Instead my beauty took it all upon herself and vanished again with that great rock. “THIS IS HOW SHE IS AND THIS IS HOW SHE WOULD ALWAYS BE, CARING FOR YOU ALL THE WAY AS THE LORD CARES EVEN FOR A FLEA” the voice spoke again. I didn’t know how to react, whether to curse my luck about taking her away from me everytime or praise it for all the qualities that my girl has. Where is she?

And as I was thinking I saw a strong ray of light, so strong that my eyes could barely face it. I thought it was her, I thought that she had finally come to me, I thought that I will meet her now. I tried to open my eyes seeming like an east Indian, and I heard a voice again. “GET UP YOU IDIOT! WHAT ARE YOU? A 60 YEAR OLD MAN? RESTING ON THAT CHAIR.” I was baffled with this voice. It wasnt the usual one. Where was I? Where is she?

I tried to hear that voice again. “GET UP YOU LAZY ASS! DONT ACT LIKE THAT NEPALI ACROSS THE STREET. GET UP AND GO GET ME THESE.” shouted my MUM as she handed me the list of groceries that she wanted. I got up from my trance. I was dreaming. I was dreaming about my dream girl. I hadn’t met her yet.

WHERE IS SHE?

The LOVE CATALYST 

The CONFESSION 

It was this superb weather after the mid terms that seemed to make college all the more interesting for me. The sweetly shining sun showering its mild heat added with that cool breeze in the air, “Winter was here”. Besides doing the usual notoriety with Darshan added to the fun. Although Darshan seemed like some lad who had lost his way into a big fair. He was weird but this was something different.

“Bhai, all okay?” I asked him that day amidst the chemistry class. “Nothing!”, he said. Never had he so blatantly replied to me.

“Haa ab seth ho gye aap log. Garibo ko kyu bataoge?” 

“Bhai, plzz you pay attention there. Shruti might need your notes later.” 

This reply was enough for me to understand why this lad had lost his way in this fair. Shruti hadn’t yet arrived even though the mid term breaks were over. 

“Darshu, scene kya hai ye Shruti wala?” I asked him this time wanting to know everything. 

“Yaar nilya kyaa batau abb? I think I’m in love. It’s like it was nothing before but now she has became the one who reigns my thoughts most of the time. This hasn’t happened with me before and I tried to get her out but she has become like an ant that sticks to jaggery. She has become like my epitome of happiness right now. All the things that I love, I end up having her in them.”
” Like how?” i asked. 

” Arey its like, if I love forts, I see myself clicking her  pics as she stands by the walls with her arms spread out. If I love food, I see myself feeding her. If I love rain, I see myself draping a coat over her as she feels the chills. If I love sleeping, I see myself cuddling with her. I don’t know why this is happening bhai? ” he said. Every comparison of his made him blush and that’s when I , too, was sure about this lost lad searching for love. Before I  could suggest anything to him came those golden words, 

” BHAI SETTING LAGA NA.”
To be continued….. 

THE CHERRY BLOSSOM

She sat there looking through her window whining about how she had missed the plane. A plane which would have taken her to the dream of her life,  a plane which defined her route to enjoyment, a plane which she was eager to get on board. She had travelled places all over the world and this hadn’t happened before. She was a traveller by heart whose soul wished to enjoy every bit of place she visited. Maybe that was the reason she was lost in that view outside the window. 
She lived by the hustle and bustle of the city  where if u peep out of your window, all you could see was the continuous chain of people moving like long rows of ants carrying food, all you could hear was the honking of the vehicles which made the roads invisible, all you could feel was the fading humanity in the world. Yet, her mom saw that her no clutches attached girl was smiling, her brave girl was feeling something. She chose not to disturb her because she knew her girl was not like everyone looking out and waving to some boy or that stuff. She knew her girl, even if had missed her plane would travel to that destination sitting in that hustling city. 

They say god cant be anywhere so he made Mothers and it was true. This here was a mother who never imposed narrow minded restrictions on her daughter. This here was a mother who never tried to cut her daughter’s wings. This here was a mother who let her child fly. And yeah she was right her daughter had lost in a fairyland. 

This girl sitting by the window had her eyes on something straight through the window. For a normal person all you could see there was a tall skyscraper or as in her favorite tv show, an ugly naked guy, but to her she could see the highest point on this Earth.

 The plane which this girl had missed was a plane to a distant land. A land where every year happened a festival. A festival which was a treat to her eyes. A festival which she had planned to go since her childhood. A festival where no one used lightings or crackers but it was mother nature that lightened up the festivities. A festival where every year people gathered to see everything pinkish. It was a time when the cherry blossom was what every person living there craved for. Yeah it was the CHERRY BLOSSOM FESTIVAL. 

There she was sitting by the window and viewing the highest peak when suddenly she looked up and lifted her hand as if there was a huge cherry blossom tree above her.  Her eyes had turned pink. She was embracing the flower that smoothly touched her fingers and tingled them. She was feeling the majesty of the everest and the calmness of the cherry blossoms when suddenly a flower fell down upon her. 

There had come a smile on her face. A smile that was a sign that the festival had started, a sign that the cherry blossoms tress had started to paint the land pink, the sign that even in this city the girl had managed to reach to the land of her dreams. 

The window had transformed into a place under a tree, under a cherry blossom tree from where she viewed the majestic everest, from where her tiny little eyes tried to capture the land of her dreams, from where the blossoming had begun. 

From where she returned❤