Cancer took her away

It all started with this news
Which at first didn’t amuse
For I was thoughtfully small
And didn’t know the severity of it all
Until… Cancer took her away

As I grew from small to her’s
Being with her like a cat who purrs
She was white, sweet and soft
Seeing which maybe the angels took her aloft
When… Cancer took her away

It felt the worst seeing her in pain
But she used to smile and say,” I can handle this strain.”
I loved her twinkling small white teethed smile
And wished that I could see for a lifetime than just for a while
But… Cancer took her away

The first time that she went bald
And I used to annoy moving close to her as I crawled
She used to give me those wide eyed look
And I used to read her eyes like an open book
However… Cancer took her away

I have seen you face those hard aches and chemos
With all those needles injected in your body flows
I can’t explain the way it hurt seeing your expressions change
But I’m sure I haven’t in my life see someone fight with such a calm rage
Yet… Cancer took her away

And although this fucking thing called cancer has won
I will never let loose and fade the memories that we have spun
You still are the first and last face that I see in my day
Coz I haven’t found anything as beautiful or sweet as the way your glowing face used to slay
Until… Cancer took her away

We didn’t get all those long years
To enjoy our bond which had become so dear
But still I miss u alot alot alot DI
And will always be your chotu that you called with so much gee
Until… Cancer took you away

I may not be able to love any other girl the way I loved you
For you will always rule my heart as the GIRL who defined the word TRUE



There are times when your mind battles internally,
What to do then?

When the battle has no reason and no warriors,
When the battle has no sides and no leaders,
Just something eating you up internally,
What to do then?

When you have everyone by your side,
Still you feel your heart having that void,
What to do then?

When you wish to shut the world just for some time,
But the thought of loneliness starts sneaking like a sourest lime,
What to do then?

When you are not afraid of the consequences,
And develop a NO FUCKS TO GIVE attitude for all your experiences,
What to do then?

When you feel there’s no thrill left in your routine,
And life has become a bloody monotonously working machine,
What to do then?

When all that covers you now are the papers called assignments and experiments,
Something which got replaced by those papers called marble and tints,
What to do then?

When all you do now is keep on writing them without any fucking idea what you are upto,
Just for a mere signature, a grade, or a 10 on 10,which weren’t so important when the child inside us grew,
What to do then?

When these college submission time give heart breaks of the amplitude stronger than those in love,
When the professors straight away correct and reject your work, and again entrap a freeflying dove,
What to do then?

When this internal battle starts to rage,
‘Coz of not knowing what the fuck is this invisible cage,
Why are our futures being decided by some white and black page,
Just give us our fucking stage!!

Returning to the battle of this age,
Where your soul wanders like an aghori sage,
And this tiring lifestyle makes you high,
Without the need of ganja, weed or amphetamine,
What to do then?

When all you do is wake, college, mobile, eat, sleep,
Whilst missing the rise, enjoy, books, have, rest,
The alarms that go beep beep
And a bird without a cozy nest!!!

Let me roam about in this wild wild world,
Away from those dumbwits, professors and freaking nerds,
Until the raging fire inside me settles from within,
Until i don’t ask again, WHAT TO DO THEN?

Where is SHE?

I was sitting on the porch in the garden area of our house. The mildly flowing breeze was playing with my hairs and cheeks touching them as softly as a feather coming down dancing in the air. Nothing was rushing. Everything around was so soothingly calm. It was as if life had turned into the water which had forgotten that it could have ripples. I rested my head back on the resting chair and immersed myself in this sweetness around me. And I dissolved… Where is she?

The search ensued. I began to wander in the woods finding a girl. I didn’t find her but the woods gave me a clue. Whilst I was moving around in the woods searching for the girl, one of the voices whispered, ” YOUR GIRL ISN’T TOO HARD TO FIND, FOR SHE HAS THE CURLS THAT YOU WOULD FALL FOR EVERYTIME YOU THINK OF HER IN YOUR MIND.” Bewildered by this voice yet happy to know about the girl that I was searching had curly hairs. A fainter image of a curly haired girl was through in my mind. But what about her, Where is she?

I came out of the woods with that curly haired girl and was at the base of a mountain. The lush green trees on the oriental perimeter of the mountain mesmerised my eyes. I felt a sense of gratitude towards mother Earth for letting me see this viridescent beauty through my naked eyes. Apart from this majestic creations, I saw someone standing at the summit of this mountain. Was it her? Was she waiting for me? My answers lied at the peak and so the trail to conquer this girl began. The wind was strong and it felt like the windgods were trying to tell me to go away, pushing me down, testing me, protecting my girl. But my determination was hard to deter and I conquered the summit. To my sadness, there was nobody except the bright yellow light which shimmered its glory upon me and there came another voice, “TIRED?” to which I strongly replied, “NOOO!WHO ARE YOU?” “DON’T THINK ABOUT ME! YOUR GIRL ISN’T HARD TO FIND, FOR SHE HAS THE SMILE THAT WOULD EVEN MAKE THE BEAUTY OF NATURE JEALOUS COMBINED” So this was my second clue and everytime I forgot about the voice which was giving these clues to me. It was this girl which I was more curios to know about. Where is she?

I started descending the mountain with the curly hairs and the sweetest smile and reached the bottom on the other side. I again saw someone but this time there was a majestic calm rippleless flow of water flowing in front of me. The water was as clear as a polished glass and I could even see the colourfull stones beneath it. The tiny tweeny fishes that played with each other reminded me of my childhood where I would play without an inch of care about what is life, which was happening now. Thankfully I knew how to swim and seeing the view, the inner thalassophile woke up and jumped into the water creating ripples yet not disturbing the playing fishes.The water gods started testing me this time, testing my endurance, forcing the current against my body but I was determined. I swam to the other side but I lost her again, not forever, but she was gone. “SHE HAD SAID THAT YOU WOULD WIN HER AND IT SEEMS SO, FOR SHE WILL UNDERSTAND YOU AND HENCE YOU WILL NEVER LET HER GO” spoke the voice again. This clue made me feel proud of the girl that I was in quest for. All you need in life is someone who understands the miniscules of your life without you needing to speak them out everytime. Every clue by this voice engrossed me deeper into her. Where is she?

As I started walking from this stream, I saw her again, this time amidst a conflagaration with her beauty glowing as the sparks went out. I had a circle of raging fire in the middle of which SHE was standing unaffected. I turned back to find a means to enter but to my agony the water flow behind me had vanished and the mountains and woods were gone too. It was just ME, HER and the FIRE. As I started walking towards this conflagration, it’s intensity grew. The yellow orange flames kissing my dusky skin yet not burning it. I was awestruck as such fire had not even harmed me for a bit. Was it the girl? Was it my affinity? A lot of questions started dancing and until then…. She was gone… Yet again… “DON’T BE DISSAPOINTED BOY! FOR YOUR GIRL HAS THE RAGING LOYALTY HARD ENOUGH FOR ANYONE TO DESTROY” said the voice again. I felt like a helpless child whose belonging was taken away. I felt like a bird in an open cage. I wanted her, I knew she was the girl of my dreams but why was she running away from me. She had curly hairs, the cutest smile, understanding nature and loyalty. What more did she wanted me to know about her? Where is she?

As I gathered her bits and pieces and started on my quest, I saw her again. This time she was floating, no not in waters, she was floating mid air. As spooky this may sound, but her posture mid air still mesmerized me. But how do I reach there? “JUMP!” the voice spoke. “ARE YOU FUCKING OUT OF YOUR MIND?” I shouted. “THIS GIRL SAYS THAT YOU TRUST PEOPLE EASILY” it said. “SO? WHO IS HERE TO SAVE ME?” I questioned. But the voice didn’t answer. I could see her and I wanted to know who she was. The curiosity was at its peak but how do I reach her? I closed my eyes and did what I used to do with people. I jumped trusting just the voice this time. The air was so strong that I could feel me cheeks blowing out and away from my teeth as I slowly opened my eyes frantically searching for her everywhere. But yet again she was gone. “I KNOW YOU ARE FRUSTRATED! BUT DO IT FOR YOUR GIRL FOR SHE HAS A GOLDEN HEART AS BIG AND WIDE AS THE SKY FOR THE INTIMIDATED” whispered the voice again. I really was frustrated for not being able to see her time and again. For not being able to touch her, feel her. But yet I was happy for the girl I was searching for had all the qualities that I exactly wanted. But WHERE IS SHE?

As I blinked searching for this answer in mid air, she was again in front of me. It was as if I was on Earth and she in Space. She floated there amidst the stars and meteors except the fact that they got their light from some source and here she was glimmering as the brightest beautiful thing that I had seen. This time I jumped on my own before the voice asked me to. I was floating in an aura of celestial beauty with my beauty just few human steps away from me. This time she wasn’t running away. Maybe this was my time to meet her. Maybe this was the end of the wait. Suddenly that glimmering beauty started rushing towards me. I was on top of the world or sky or space whatever you call it. Seeing her coming towards me was what felt like that helpless child was getting his belonging for which he was longing, back. But before I could understand anything, I felt a large shadow approaching me from behind and to my disbelief it was a large meteor which was about to hit me. I thought to myself, was this how it was going to end? Couldn’t I have a moment with the love of my life? A surge of thought began wobbling in my mind as I closed my eyes tightly awaiting the meteor crashing upon me. But…. It didn’t… Instead my beauty took it all upon herself and vanished again with that great rock. “THIS IS HOW SHE IS AND THIS IS HOW SHE WOULD ALWAYS BE, CARING FOR YOU ALL THE WAY AS THE LORD CARES EVEN FOR A FLEA” the voice spoke again. I didn’t know how to react, whether to curse my luck about taking her away from me everytime or praise it for all the qualities that my girl has. Where is she?

And as I was thinking I saw a strong ray of light, so strong that my eyes could barely face it. I thought it was her, I thought that she had finally come to me, I thought that I will meet her now. I tried to open my eyes seeming like an east Indian, and I heard a voice again. “GET UP YOU IDIOT! WHAT ARE YOU? A 60 YEAR OLD MAN? RESTING ON THAT CHAIR.” I was baffled with this voice. It wasnt the usual one. Where was I? Where is she?

I tried to hear that voice again. “GET UP YOU LAZY ASS! DONT ACT LIKE THAT NEPALI ACROSS THE STREET. GET UP AND GO GET ME THESE.” shouted my MUM as she handed me the list of groceries that she wanted. I got up from my trance. I was dreaming. I was dreaming about my dream girl. I hadn’t met her yet.




Hey guys hope you all loved this short story series The LOVE CATALYST. Some things that I want to share with you regarding this. First and the foremost thing is I received a lot of messages from people who thought this to be a true story in some or the other way but this is totally a work of fiction solely created from my mind. Second of all this was my first attempt into this kind of stuff and I hope to keep discovering. Now the most important, there were people who I owe big time for the mental support that they gave me and were part of this thing with me. 

SHARVARI PATIL, for rediscovering my passion, making me write, being my biggest support throughout, listening to all those unnecessary scripts and believing in me. 

ABHISHEK RAO, AL SAHER, for being my EDITOR’S and guiding me throughout. 

UJJWALA DI for being my sweetheart reader. 

MINAKSHI AWALE, AJINKYA BHOI for talking me out with the most important part. 

RAJ MISTRY, for being a constructive critic that I always wanted. 

KOMAL PAWAR, for being the silent reader of all parts and still not saying anything. 



Thanks a ton. 



It was the D-DAY as we were attending our chemistry practicals. Chemistry practicals were cool because of the atmosphere there. The teacher incharge would stand in the centre, with everyone around her like some accident had occurred. We both used to stand at the end of this hoard without a care about what was going on. That day wasn’t any different. Everyone was present, and yes, the girl with admirable beauty had paid heed to the invitation until now. 

“Bhai, ready hai na??” I poked Darshan. He seemed a bit nervous as if he was appearing for some exam but still replied,”Yes, it’s everything or nothing.” 

It felt satisfying doing this good thing but the consequences were still unknown. 

“Listen everyone, the Catalyst is an important part in this reaction” shouted the teacher. 

“Sunn be ma’am kya boli?” I taunted him with a wide grin. He laughed it off with his nervousness still visible. 

“Bhai, meri bhi SETTING laga dena!!” touted Akshay in a way to tease Darshan. Apart from us, he knew this thing because of his ‘poke into everyone’s business’ ways. 

“Haa!! I’ll do this stuff and make a living now. Log dosto ke liye STUPIDITY krte hai aur hum CUPIDITY”, I replied as all three of us broke into laughter. 

It was time, time for the final blow. Shruti’s behaviour had been skeptical throughout but still I knew she would come. We were already waiting in the back corridor where nobody bothered to roam about. Ideal place for an ideal beginning. 

And there she was, girl with an adorable charm with her curly locks sliding over her shoulder as she walked through without the slightest bother. 

She didn’t seem shocked seeing both of us, maybe because we hunted together everywhere or maybe because she was okay with it. 

“So?” I tried to break the ice. 

“So?” she said shrugging her shoulders. 

“What do you think?” interrupted Darshan. 

“The FORT GUY huh?” she said looking at me. 

“Yesss! The FORT GUY” I said with a sense of pride. 

“So, what do you think?” asked Darshan again as if they were the only words he had practiced. 

“I always felt that it could be him.” she said. That certainly did boost our confidence. But the atmosphere still had some nervous air in it. 

“I do have a checklist regarding my special someone.” she continued,” and regarding you, let me see” she turned her back towards us as she said this. It felt as if she was laughing there. 

“Okay, looks-check, courtesy-check, sweetness-check” she was speaking. 

“Bhai ye toh maje le rhi hai apne?” Darshan whispered into my ears. 

“Sabar kar baccha. You have waited this long. Thanda rakh” I whispered back. 

“… Bad habit of whispering-check” she went on as we looked at each other, “good at heart-check, gives respect-check and the most important…” she turned towards us as we stood pretending someone who waited for results, “… Loves me-check.” 

We both let out a sigh of relief and I poked Darshan to do the rest and then the moment it was. 

Darshan went down on one knee and Shruti in shock as he said those words, “I LOVE YOU SHRUTI, DO YOU LOVE ME?” 

Shruti was still in disbelief as she was looking towards both of us in total confusion, when she said, “BUT……” 



“Heya”, I texted Shruti on that boring afternoon. 

“Hey! Wassup?”, came her unexpectedly instant reply. 

“Nothing much re. U say?” 

“Tired. I returned today morning from my mini vacation.” 

“Ohhh! Great. So this is why the boys sulked at college.” 

“Hahaha! Lol! Stop it Nilay. Nobody is soo eager to wait for me and besides this was the best time that I had.”

 I hated the ‘LOL’ thing alot but that ‘thike, ladki hai,achi dikhti hai, chalta hai’ thing made me continue.”Ohhoo! U have had a superb tym I guess! Kidhr gyi thi?” 

“Actually it was a native place thing, Kolhapur is where we went. But this time we enjoyed being there. And you know what the higlight of this trip was?” 

Before i could reply anything came a string of messages








Her excitement and enjoyment both were sensed in these 7 letters and I just wanted to listen more. “Sahieee!! Aage bata!” I kept it minimum, eager to listen more. And she continued… 

“Arrree! U must visit this fort. Srsly the climate, the fort, surroundings everything everything mesmerised me to the core. And as always the way our MAHARAJ had built it, all the secretways and stories, they always fill u with a sense of pride that we had techniques that the world didn’t know. And arre the best thing was the chilling drizzle that came there. It wasss the sexiest thing whilst enjoying the fort. I love rains alot and that weather made me miss someone!”

This someone thing made me interrupt her,”Ahem ahem, kisko miss kiyaa??” 

“Ayeee, stop ur wheels. There’s no1 yet but yeah it felt like someone shud have been there. Someone who could click pictures for me when i was engrossed in the beauty of nature. Someone who would do that Yash Chopra movie things of draping something over me when i felt the chills. Someone who would feed me when i was tired enough from the adventure. And someone who would cuddle with me to sleep. Ik I’m being too cheeky but the weather there made my mind wander exctly like this. And yes i missed the spcl sum1”

This one message gave me the existential crisis of GOD. Did he really want me to be the CATALYST? Did he favoured the SETTING? Did he want me to do this CUPIDITY? 

It struck to me that I had forgot to reply Shruti and she was waiting. Her behaviour that day was kind of spooky as she hadn’t been so eager to talk to me before. 

“🙈🙈”, this was all I could reply. 

“Tu kyu sharma raha hai? I didn’t miss U”, and bang came down the world to being normal. 

“I ain’t sharmaing, okay! It’s just that I enjoyed your lovaria in that ecstatic weather on the fort.” I tried being cheeky, ” Acha Shruti what if someone actually existed like your FORT GUY!” 

” Haha! Itni kripa bhagwan ny banake rakhta humpe” she said 

“Arree hum janme hi kaahe hai?” this time I replied without gulping those words. 

“What?? U, the almighty😂?” 

“Naah! It’s like there does exist the FORT GUY and he is one of our classmates.” I said, now, determinant about being the CATALYST. 

“Ummm… Okay! Now I don’t know how to react to this😂! Still, Who is it?” she asked seeming curious this time. 

“Hai koi toh!”, I was loving this suspense thing,”This FORT GUY is, someone u know.” 

“Arre Benedict! Stop this suspense and reveal it once” she seemed annoyed. 

“Not so easily😈. Meet me in the back corridor of college on Thursday.” 

 “Stop this nonsense Nilay! Bata de kon hai? Is it U?”

I was in a fix after this reply. It’s like there are two kinds of guys in this world- first are those who fall for a girl after seeing her, after mentally deciding that she is the one and the second are those who fall for every girl that talks sweetly with them and yeah I proudly belonged to the latter part. 

I could have turned cupid for myself but doing the CUPIDITY for BHAIJAAN seemed more interesting. 
To be continued… 



It was this superb weather after the mid terms that seemed to make college all the more interesting for me. The sweetly shining sun showering its mild heat added with that cool breeze in the air, “Winter was here”. Besides doing the usual notoriety with Darshan added to the fun. Although Darshan seemed like some lad who had lost his way into a big fair. He was weird but this was something different.

“Bhai, all okay?” I asked him that day amidst the chemistry class. “Nothing!”, he said. Never had he so blatantly replied to me.

“Haa ab seth ho gye aap log. Garibo ko kyu bataoge?” 

“Bhai, plzz you pay attention there. Shruti might need your notes later.” 

This reply was enough for me to understand why this lad had lost his way in this fair. Shruti hadn’t yet arrived even though the mid term breaks were over. 

“Darshu, scene kya hai ye Shruti wala?” I asked him this time wanting to know everything. 

“Yaar nilya kyaa batau abb? I think I’m in love. It’s like it was nothing before but now she has became the one who reigns my thoughts most of the time. This hasn’t happened with me before and I tried to get her out but she has become like an ant that sticks to jaggery. She has become like my epitome of happiness right now. All the things that I love, I end up having her in them.”
” Like how?” i asked. 

” Arey its like, if I love forts, I see myself clicking her  pics as she stands by the walls with her arms spread out. If I love food, I see myself feeding her. If I love rain, I see myself draping a coat over her as she feels the chills. If I love sleeping, I see myself cuddling with her. I don’t know why this is happening bhai? ” he said. Every comparison of his made him blush and that’s when I , too, was sure about this lost lad searching for love. Before I  could suggest anything to him came those golden words, 

To be continued…..